Buckle in, this is kind of a long one.
In April 2021, I had what became the first in a series of world-shattering panic attacks that left me completely paralyzed, my hands and arms stuck in funny positions. Eventually, these events progressed. They lasted hours. HOURS. Not one. Not two. We’re talking 9–10 agonizing hours. Closing my eyes made me feel like I had been shot out of a canon, it didn’t help at all. I felt trapped in my body feeling like I had been blasted off in a rocket, and I couldn’t calm down. I went to the emergency several times and was either ignored or given a shot of ativan. Ativan helped.
I’ve been on Geodon since late 2020, for voices, and then this year I started on Zoloft as well.
While the severity/intensity of the panic episodes seems to have subsided, I have an even scarier problem. During these episodes, I lose the ability to control my eyes and they start drifting up or rolling almost completely back in my head. It’s incredibly painful because my eyes are “fixed”, even causing my vision to blur. Another thing that happens is that my mouth stays partially open and my tongue presses my front teeth. I can hear what is going on around me, but my speech becomes somewhat slurred because of this tongue depression. I cannot stress enough how hard it is to talk when I am in this state. It feels like I am trapped in my own body. It is a waking nightmare. Driving becomes perilous because I cannot make my eyes focus on the road in front of me.
The MRI did not reveal anything, nor did the EEG, but some research suggested that Geodon might cause seizures in rare cases. Seeing as how I had a rare reaction to Lamictal, it’s possible.
I’m having an ambulatory EEG done through Loma Linda but it’s not until February.
I’m at a complete loss as to the cause of this condition, and no one I talk to seems to know anything about it. Shendra and I found something called an oculogyric crisis, which seems to describe my symptoms fairly accurately.
Anyone have any ideas at all as to what is happening to me?
